Cunning Plan...

Ok, I've come to the reasonable conclusion that every time my lecturer sets us freewrites to do, I don't do them. So, as it looks likely that I'll be on here every day, I intend to do my freewrites on here instead. Good plan, good plan. :D

*~^. .^WolfiE^. .^~*

Random Freewrite

I knew it was over when he whispered regretfully in my ear 'I shouldn't be here'. What a fool am I to think he would wish to be in my arms, in my bed? perhaps next time I should ask, dear sir, if one wishes to be in said vicinity and at which stop on the sexual block one wishes to alite, sir. I'm sure we all have moments in which we wonder what it was that we were thinking at the time, and I must assume his pulling down of my little pink knickers was quite possibly one of them. And yet, it is only upon looking back at such moments in time that we realise the non-sensical approach we often have toward life. And perhaps, if one should stop looking back, one may well live void of regret. If only human nature would suppress memory at key points, such as his finding out the condom, maybe I would stop writing about how he may have felt or be thinking and instead be midway through assessing my own thoughts on the matter and also why I'm using him to avoid approaching them. The Perils of Adolescence are once more in the scaffoldings of my workings.

Fear

I am failing to comprehend just why my mind's irrational behaviour has increased over the years, and even more so since my arrival at university. As a child, my only real fear was spiders, and that was based on my mum's fear of the quick little buggers. Once I hit secondary school, a new fear had presented itself to me; bridges. Gephyrophobia took hold of my life, and why? Because as a child my father had dangled me from bridges by my wrists or ankles. Though quite why my mind decided to wait until secondary school to remind me of just how awful bridges are, I know not. And then, as I hit my teenage years and had my first real boyfriends, I found my urge to reproduce overwhelming. I became very maternal, wanting nothing more from life but to have my own family. But with this came the fear that the thing I wanted most, I may never have. The very thought of not being able to have my own children makes me want to break down. Of course, there's always the option of adopting, but that will never compare to the feeling of having my own child growing inside me, and then holding my child's tiny frame fresh from the womb.

The weird thing is, these fears seem to be reiterating themselves, as if I've forgotten them. My mind has apparently begun this process with spiders. I panic now when I see them. I freeze, I sweat, I feel sick, I cry.

Fear; it's a strange old thing.

Minky

Page Pets & MySpace Layouts

Introduction

Well, here I am. Casually listening to UB40, waiting for my flatmates to get back. And as I sit here I can't help but wonder what they'll bring back with them. I don't mean gossip, nor do I mean any material object. What I ponder is will they bring back a new aspect of their own character, or some emotion that wasn't there before. I know this isn't clear, but then, when have I ever spoken in anything other than riddles for you to decipher?