Random Freewrite

I knew it was over when he whispered regretfully in my ear 'I shouldn't be here'. What a fool am I to think he would wish to be in my arms, in my bed? perhaps next time I should ask, dear sir, if one wishes to be in said vicinity and at which stop on the sexual block one wishes to alite, sir. I'm sure we all have moments in which we wonder what it was that we were thinking at the time, and I must assume his pulling down of my little pink knickers was quite possibly one of them. And yet, it is only upon looking back at such moments in time that we realise the non-sensical approach we often have toward life. And perhaps, if one should stop looking back, one may well live void of regret. If only human nature would suppress memory at key points, such as his finding out the condom, maybe I would stop writing about how he may have felt or be thinking and instead be midway through assessing my own thoughts on the matter and also why I'm using him to avoid approaching them. The Perils of Adolescence are once more in the scaffoldings of my workings.