Caught Up

I hate it when I set out with all good intentions of doing something regularly (some may say religiously, I however try to avoid all references to religion unless I'm showing how weak those religious fools are), and never actually sticking to this resolution, as it were. This blog started out as somewhat of a diary almost, and yet I've not posted anything for 20days now. However, I make no excuses, merely intent on making up for it.

At the moment I find myself caught up amongst emotions; some say I should fight, others scream flight. It seems as though I have willingly led my lamb-like self to the slaughter (just like those Christians) by walking straight into the place I once called home. It is an awful feeling that takes over you when you hear your own mother crying down the phone to you because you do not want to stay at her house at Christmas. It is an even worse feeling when you turn up saying you will stay, and see her face light up with excitement and happiness, and yet not too far below the surface of your optimistic exterior, you know that what you both hope for is a falsity, because a happy family does not exist. To have a happy family, you need a family first.